For prayer...

I generally try to keep things on a positive note. It's good for the morale, and recounting humorous happenstances always puts me in a pleasant frame of mind. This blog will be different from most, in that I write it to ask specifically for your prayers. All in all I consider myself quite blessed. I think of fellow Christians in more restricted countries, and wonder how I could ever think to be discontent with that which I have. Such pious thoughts notwithstanding, much of the adjustment that I've had to undergo since being here has been quite difficult for me. Every familiar thing has been replaced with the unfamiliar, and my mind reels with the intensity of it all. The most difficult thing, and what has prompted me to ask for your prayers, is that I've not once slept the night through since coming here. Often my body is weary, but my mind won't stop working. Hyper thoughts, mostly irrelevant and worn out, just keep spinning round and round in my head until I eventually fall into an agitated, restless sleep from which I start between wakefulness and weird nightmares. Sometimes I dream with ghastly vividness. Other times the dreams are hazy and evasive, but I wake from them with a sick feeling, and a tightness all over. Needless to say, morning usually finds me quite exhausted. Unfortunately, being so physically strained really affects my perspective on and reaction to the inevitable daily inconveniences and distractions. It's really difficult for me to keep focused on anything, and also, unfortunately, takes some toll on my relationship with God. I would love to get out more in the evening after work, but usually by 7:00 my eyes are burning so badly from lack of sleep, and the world spinning so dizzily around me, that it's all I can do to climb into bed for another exhausting, fitful night. I've tried praying, meditating on Scripture. Anything I can think of. Two evenings ago, I made my mind focus on all the things I was grateful for. I ran my mind over blessing after blessing until I fell asleep, and only woke that night perhaps three or four times. I was encouraged, and tried it again last night, too, but to no avail. I had a worse night last night than I have had since being here. In fact, at around three in the morning I finally gave up and left my bed for a less frustrating and more rewarding occupation on the computer. I don't mean to dwell on it, but I really want you to understand that I need your prayers badly. It's so hard to keep a good attitude, and every little annoyance is so difficult to just brush off when I'm so tired. I either need sleep, or I need the grace to be able to trust that God's strength will be sufficient where I lack. He is always good.

Thank you so much!
Elisabeth