Dear Friends

Dear Friends,

Today was the first day of a three day soccer camp, with a total of fifty 4-6 grade boys, from different homes around Seoul. It’s a great deal of fun, but very energy demanding…needless to say. Jerusalem Ministries (through whom I volunteered at the Namsan Home) hosted this same camp last year, and both this year and last have been held during the height of monsoon season. And when I say monsoon, I mean really. I was out two days ago, and the deluge was so heavy that it drove right through my umbrella, and I came home soaked to the skin. Obviously this is bad timing for an outdoor sports camp. But it’s when the kids are out of school, so what can one do? Well, one can pray, and so we have. Last year the rain came down so heavily that it took down trees with it, and continued coming down until two hours before the camp commenced. Then it held up for three days, with beautiful weather. And two hours after camp closed down, on the last day, the rain began coming down in sheets again. Well, it’s the same story this year. It ought to have rained today, but instead it was beautiful and dry, with a thick cover of clouds to hide the blistering sun. I checked the weather report when I got home, and it said that rain had poured all day. Someone pointed out that, since God’s favor is with the fatherless, the projects that we undertake for them can hardly escape being blessed. I’m convinced.

A few people have asked me about the home I’m working at, so I thought I’d go into more detail for the curious. It’s actually not a home for orphans, so it would more technically be called a ‘children’s home’. Only about 5% of the kids are parentless. The rest are kids whose parents/relatives don’t want them or are unable to keep them. So the kids have a lot of fears and insecurities and rejection issues. It’s difficult for a lot of them to open up to people, because they’ve been abandoned by the ones who were supposed to love them the best. I’ve come to love them more deeply than I would have imagined possible in such a short time. When Jimin, a four year old little girl, buries her head in her arms and cries uncontrollably because she misses her dad, my heart breaks for her. When the girls show me pictures of their families, their parents and brothers and sisters, everything in me understands. And sometimes I think that maybe that’s why I’ve had to miss my own family so much…just so that I can understand these children and love them better.

There are a little over fifty kids here, divided into five dorms. There are two dorm parents to each dorm, and they take turns living at the home in stints of 24 hours each. They’re usually really busy, while they’re here, so it’s difficult for them to find the time or energy to give the kids the love and attention that they need. They’re often short tempered or really tired. The dorm mom in the dorm where I’m staying, with the older girls, is really sweet, and she really loves the kids. But it’s the same with her as it is with the others. Being mom to seven teenage girls is really challenging and exhausting. So I think it’s really nice for everyone that Ye-Kyung (the other volunteer) and I are here. We can take the kids out, and play with them, and help out where needed. I’m glad that I have the opportunity to work here this summer.

And after this…many of you already know that I’m looking for tickets to come home for a visit this fall. If all goes as planned, I should be flying in on the 7th. I can hardly wait to see you all!

Thank you for your prayers and thoughts.
With love,
Elisabeth

Really Quick...

This is going to be really quick...probably. I would have written sooner, but the internet has been turned off all week, because the kids have to study for their finals. Anyway, I just wanted to let you guys know that I'm doing sooo much better for having gotten that last email off my chest. Sometimes venting in one's native language can be remarkably therapeutic. ^^

So, yeah, it’s hard to live across the world from my family. It’s difficult not being able to speak the language fluently. I miss American food, and being able to find shoes that fit, and being able to cross the road when the light turns green, without looking both ways first. If I had known what it would be like, I think that I would not have chosen to be a missionary after all. But I know that someday this life, with all of its struggles and perplexities, will be over. Someday I will stand face to face with my beloved Jesus, and then...

Actually, my story is simply that God loves me. I wonder at His love. It’s almost as though He can’t bear to see me in trouble. It’s like He knows that I must experience difficulty to shape me, and because this is a fallen world. But it breaks His heart to watch my pain, so He cannot help but set aside the laws of nature, and pull me into His arms, and give me rest. There is such gentleness in His dealings with me. It absolutely blows me away. Sometimes I feel so deeply loved by Him and so extraordinarily well cared for, that I can’t help wondering if He loves me more than everyone else put together!

God has given me courage and joy. And, while I still feel inhibited, of course, by my un-fluency, I no longer feel the pressure that I did, and have been able to give that particular struggle to God. Thank you so much for your prayers!

Elisabeth