With Wings as Eagles

Happy Thanksgiving, Family!

Today is the last day of what has been a relaxing two week break between semesters. I had hoped that the R&R would help me to kick this bug, but so far that hasn't happened. The weather has been pendulous, warmish one day, and freezing the next. Every time the temperature drops below zero, my cold rears its head, tyrannically asserting it's self-appointed rights. I'm hoping that, once winter finally makes up it's fickle mind, my immune system will begin to kick in.

Otherwise, life is good. I've been spending a couple of hours every day getting prepared for Level 5. I wanted to get my books in advance, hoping to be able to at least familiarize myself with a significant portion of the vocabulary before the semester begins. Vocab is, hands down, the most time consuming part of studying. So I my way up to the seventh floor of the language building, to speak to the department director. Since I'd been able to get my books for Level 4 three months early, it never entered my mind that there would be any problem. But apparently administration has changed since then, and I was uncompromisingly informed, "You'll get your books on the first day of class."
It had been a very stressful week, pulling 13-14 hour study days in preparation for my finals, so I was feeling worn out and upset to start with. The director's decision was singularly unreasonable, in light of the fact that I was registered, payed for, and the books were available and sitting in the shelf next to us. I listened to his explanation with a frozen smile on my face, but the room was loud, and his Korean was blurry (guy-Korean is spoken much less distinctly than girl-Korean, so it's generally very difficult to understand), and I was too angry to listen carefully, so his explanation was wholly unintelligible. I went home feeling more discouraged and upset than I have in a very long time.
When I got home, I hashed out my attitude with God, and then sang to myself while I made lunch. It's remarkable how far a song can go toward improving one's perspective. I was still at a complete loss, though. I'd been able to glance briefly through one of my friend's books, and not only is the vocabulary load increased, but we'll be given twice as many grammar rules than we've been given in any of the levels up to date. It was entirely impractical for me to think about studying level 5 without having the books in advance. I finally decided to wait until after finals to think about it, and pushed the matter to the back of my mind.
Two days later, with the other tests out of the way, and only the interview left, I gritted my teeth and rode the elevator to the ninth floor. I showed up early, and feeling strangely detached, walked over to one of the ceiling-to-floor windows to watch the life of the city below me. I had slept little, and eaten next to nothing for the past thirty-six hours, because I had been feeling sick, and as I stood there I began to feel dizzy and to see black spots in the corner of my vision. I sat down on the window ledge, and at that moment an osprey glided past the window at eye level. The end of Isaiah 40 flashed into my mind, "They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." And I knew that, pass or fail, God would continue to be strong for me.
My name was called, and I bowed and greeted my interviewer. It's called an 'interview', but it's not so much that as a guided, twenty minute conversation, to determine one's level of fluency. The conversations are recorded, so that the interviewer may later go back and analyze one's grammar, pronunciation, intonation, vocabulary, continuity, and variety. As such, what one answers is wholly irrelevant. On the last day of class we were told: "Feel free to state false preferences and opinions. Your interviewer hasn't the least interest in whether you're from Brazil or Japan, so if it's easier for you to talk about Japanese customs, then for that twenty minutes, you're Japanese. If you don't know the answer to something, make it up!"
As it turned out, it wasn't necessary for me to create a fictional self. One of the first questions the teacher asked was how Level 4 had been for me.
"It wasn't as hard as I'd expected," I replied, "But it's not as easy for me as it is for the other Asian students, so I need a lot more study time than they do. There was so much vocabulary to memorize, though, that I didn't feel like I had enough time to spend with the other subjects."
"You know Level 5 is going to be more difficult..." (Don't I!!) "...if you didn't have enough time last semester, how are you planning on making it through the next?"
"I have no idea." And I explained to her what I've entailed above, ending with, "If I can't get the books in advance, I might not study here next semester."
"Well, you know," She smiled a beautiful smile, "I have the books. I can lend them to you until you get yours."
I pressed my hands to my face, laughed weakly, and for one dreadful moment thought that I was going to burst into tears. The moment quickly passed, and I heartily thanked her.
The rest of the time passed smoothly and quickly. When I got home and called my family, they told me that they had asked people to be praying for me. I wasn't surprised. Both the tests and the interview were easier and more relaxed for me than any before, and when I got my grades back, 99% was scribbled on the face of my reading test, that subject in which I had been previously averaging very low 70s. Mounted up on eagle's wings, indeed!

I have a lot of stuff to do this evening, so I shouldn't spend any more time on the computer. I hadn't meant to write only of my tests! Next time I'll try to add more variety, but meanwhile this will have to do. Please be praying for me, as I go on to this next semester. I'm beginning to feel burnt out, and am so very ready to be done studying Korean!

With love,
Elisabeth