God Sees and Understands

I have to remind myself frequently, these days, that I'm not just throwing my life away over here. Somehow that thought keeps coming back to discourage me, "You've been in Korean since you were twenty-two!" my mind shouts at me, "And now you're nearly twenty-five! What have you got to show for it?! So you can speak Korean better than the average westerner - what of it? The chances of you being able ever to use it in the way you anticipate are so slim as to be absurd. And, meanwhile, here you are, throwing away the best years of your life!" And then it shrugs and shakes it's head at me in a pitying sort of way. All I can do is try to ignore it and pray, but even that resource is so evasive sometimes... But, however futile my present course sometimes seems, this one thing I know: God sees and understands that, foolish or otherwise, the life that I have turned my back on was set aside for love of Him. My course may be ill advised, my direction purposeless, but like the widow's two mites, it is all I have, and it has been given to God. If He chooses not to use it, that is His business. At least He may know that I love Him.
Please pray that God will give me courage.
Elisabeth