Various Instruments of Torture

Dear Ones,

Chusok, Korean Thanksgiving, is upon us. This is the second most important holiday in Korea, next only to their three day New Year celebration. All my shopping for the week was done in advance, because shops will be closed up until Thursday. Seoul is a pretty quiet city during this week, because most families have traveled to other parts of Korea, to spend the holiday at the home of the paternal family's eldest son. When the families are together, they visit their ancestors' graves to set out food and pay obeisance. It used to be believed that every person has three spirits. When a person dies, one of those spirits enters the spirit world, one remains in the grave, and one returns to the house of the family. So I think the idea is to keep the 'grave spirit' happy, so that the 'house spirit' will protect the family, instead of becoming a menace. I don't know if that's still a serious belief any more, but the custom of ancestor worship is still observed, and some of my Christian friends have experienced conflict with relatives, who consider their refusal to bow to be nothing more than a disrespectful demonstration. For myself, the holiday is nothing more or less than an welcomed break from school.

I'm a little headachy, because I've been cleaning. On Thursday I had my wisdom teeth pulled, and since then the least exertion wipes me out. It puzzles me a little bit, because it really wasn't that much of an ordeal.
Ruth came with me to the dentist's, which I was glad for. It was a good thing to have her company to keep my mind off of what I uneasily looked forward to as my impending doom. After getting only a little bit lost, and understandably exasperating our poor taxi driver, we arrived at the office just on time.
My dentist is wonderful, and was very patient with all my nervous questions. I was glad to learn that he didn't mean to put me under, but only to numb me. Somehow, the idea of being knocked out while native parts of my mouth were forcefully removed wholly unsettled me. However, when the dentist picked up a three inch long needle I nearly changed my mind. I closed my eyes, but Dr. Jung didn't like that. He made me open them again, and look at him. He told me later that he needed to be able to watch my pupils, to make sure that I was reacting to the anesthesia okay. And so I nervously watched the needle being brought to my mouth, and clenched my fists as felt it burry itself in my jaw. It hurt, but I have a pretty high pain tolerance, so I was surprised to feel tears rolling down my face. The needle was drawn out, and re-pierced me again and again, until my whole mouth began to ache. It was an eternity and eighteen shots, before Dr. Jung was satisfied. He sat me up, and left me for five minutes while the numbness spread mercifully through my jaw and over my face, until all I could feel was a five pound lower lip.
The first tooth came out quickly. While Dr. Jung worked, I tried to keep my mind else where. I was pretty certain that when the tooth was ripped out, it would feel intolerable. So I put into practice a little trick I've used before: I pulled to mind all the blessings in my life, particularly those related to the present situation, and thanked God for them. "God, thank You for a good dentist. Thank You that I have enough money to do this. Thank You that Ruth could come with me. Thank You we were able to find our way here. Thank you for…" I fired them off in rapid succession, leaving no room for uncomfortable thoughts, and as always, this calmed me. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew that I was feeling a pressure somewhere in my mouth, but it was entirely painless, and I was surprised when Dr. Jung announced, "The first tooth is out."
After that, all nervousness dissipated, and I began to be interested in the proceedings. I opened my eyes, and watched various instruments of torture being lifted toward my mouth. Always they came away covered in blood, which was actually pretty gross. I didn't like to watch Dr. Jung preparing to sew up my gums after each tooth was pulled, but otherwise found it interesting.
The second tooth was out, and Dr. Jung let me close my mouth for a minute to rest. I was glad for that, because my neck was beginning to ache. Before he began again, I asked if I could use a mirror to watch the next one being pulled. To my disappointment, he shook his head.
The third tooth came out as unconcernedly as the previous two had. Almost as though it didn't consider itself bound to me by our previous four years of experience together, and would just as soon be out of my mouth as in.
The last tooth, however, was not so complying. My lower, left jaw wasn't as numb as the rest of my mouth. I had wondered if I should tell him so before he began, but hadn't wanted him to give me another shot, and so had kept silent. When he reached in and began to loosen that last tooth, I felt it being worked out of the socket, and began to regret my squeamishness. My neck was so tired, by this time, that I couldn't hold my head against the dentist's pull. His aid gripped my forehead and lower jaw and held me in place, and as they pulled against each other, the muscles in my neck and shoulders began to tremble spasmodically with weariness. When Dr. Jung showed me the tooth after it was all over, I saw why this one had been so difficult. The roots were bent and twisted at the tip, nearly to a ninety degree angle, so that they were almost barbed. "We have a saying in Korea," Dr. Jung smiled, "A person is like the roots of his teeth. If the roots are twisted, then his personality is very unique." Is this good or bad?
Dr. Jung sat me up, and gave me a glass of water and ibuprofen. Remembering the last time I'd attempted to take a drink while my upper and lower lips were both numb, this time I tipped my head back to keep the water where it should be, and gratefully swallowed the pain killer.
I wanted to stand, so I looked over to where Dr. Jung was pulling of his gloves. "Can I gelluf?" The sound of my voice startled me into giggling, and I modestly covered my mouth with my hand, a very Korean gesture. "I thoun thransh!"
Dr. Jung, bless him, speaks very equitable English, but his skills were no match for my slurred words. Fortunately, he seemed to understand that I was finding amusement in the way my words 'thounded' and just smiled.
I wasn't supposed to talk much, and since I had wads of netted padding stuffed into all four corners of my poor, swollen mouth it was more comfortable to be still. But when we went back out to the waiting room to find Ruth, I wanted to relate all my experiences to her. This attempt earned me a gentle rebuke from Dr. Jung, "Don't talk!"
I was really alert, so instead of taking a taxi back, as I'd intended, we rode the subway. Aside from drooling blood the whole way home (Ruth had happily thought to provide me with tissue, bless her!), it was an uneventful ride.
I was happy to be home, and to be still. But I couldn't rest, so I sat down and wrote a simple poem, to remind myself of God's goodness:

Lord, You have searched, and have known my ways:
When I wake, when I sleep, how I structure my days.
Your hand rests upon me, my thoughts are Your own.
My path is compassed, all my ways You have known.
Every word on my tongue You have heard in my mind.
You uphold and compass me before and behind.
I cannot conceive why I should be thus sought;
Such wonderful knowledge is greater than thought!

Where can I hide from Your Spirit in me?
Where from Your presence of love shall I flee?
If I raise up to heaven, my way You prepare.
If I lie down in hell, You remain by me there.
If I fly on the wings of the dawn, to be free,
Or dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
Even there will Your hand in my own lead my feet,
Will Your right hand enfold me and make me complete.

How precious and rare are Your thoughts about me,
More numerous in count than the sand of the sea.
Before I was born, Your love set me apart.
You have purchased my mind, and have captured my heart.
Search me, O God, know my thoughts and my ways.
May each breath that I take render glory and praise
To the One Who so fearfully and wonderfully chose
His wisdom and power in me to disclose.